Around this time, ten years ago, I knew my marriage was over FOR REAL. 

Let's be honest. We all have an A-HA moment, when we know it's over and we have to leave. But leaving doesn't always mean OVER. There's always a million reasons or doubts, especially when kids are involved. 

But at this particular time in 2015, I finally KNEW. 

And as much as there was sadness for my kids, there was happiness and hope for myself. Actually, I think my kids were okay right away. I feel like there was a sense of relief for all of us. A weight off all of our shoulders. Living in a tense home is good for quite literally nobody.

Shortly after Decision Day, I had my friend take boudoir photos of me. A shitty marriage can make you feel shitty about yourself as a person. I hadn't really realized that, while in it.  But once I was out, especially for a couple of years, I could look back at photos of myself and I didn't even recognize me. The light in my eyes was gone. I had lost myself, in my marriage, in being a mom, in fighting for my life every damn day to act happy for my kids sakes. It was brutal. 

But when I did my first set of boudoir....I saw it. I saw the glimmer of who I used to be, but better. I had life experience now that I hadn't had before. I saw people a bit clearer.  I gained confidence in myself as a woman and as a mother. I KNEW I could do anything and everything on my fuckin own. I had spent years being told I couldn't, so when I was a few months out and saw how much better I felt about life in general, I knew I had the world by the balls.

I was 35 years old and starting over. But with experience, and three kids. And in the past ten years, I've seen all of us grow up and flourish in a way we likely wouldn't have had I not gotten the balls to leave.

I look back on those boudoir photos, and each session after, and I watch my confidence just skyrocket. 

I want to do that for you. 

When we first leave, we think maybe no one will want us with our x amount of kids. We think it's going to be so hard on our own. We think we may never love again, trust again. 

But we will. Or we maybe will make the choice to never do alla that again. We had put in our time, and as my girl Frances says "I did my time, I got my watch, I'm retired now."  But it will be on OUR fuckin terms now. No one will make us feel less than ever again. 

Boudoir isn't always for someone else. It quite literally is for YOU. To show you how badass you are. How sexy and beautiful you are. Not one of my sessions have I done for someone else. I've been with the same man since six months after my separation from my ex, and while he gets to see and loves every photo I've given him, he knows I did them for me. And he gets to reap the reward of my confidence. And he's perfectly fine with that!

If you are newly separated, please come see me. Please let me show you how to get your groove back. I promise, it helps. 

Photo credit to Clarissa Marie Photography and Frances Roberts